I say, I say, I say...
"Boy: Doctor, doctor, I think my bottom’s broken. Doctor: Why do you think that? Boy: There;s a crack in it!"
sent in by DarcyD
I say, I say, I say...
"We've been weighing up the pros and cons of moving to Switzerland. The flag is certainly a big plus."
sent in by RobL
I say, I say, I say...
"A mate of mine is a retired cricket umpire. He doesn’t lift a finger now."
sent in by SimonD
I say, I say, I say...
"Why was the sheep arrested on the motorway? For doing a ewe turn!"
I say, I say, I say...
"What's brown and 'sticky'? A stick."
sent in by RobL
I say, I say, I say...
"If you say gullible slowly, it sounds like oranges."
sent in by Friends of Kettlewell School
I say, I say, I say...
"What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? A woolly jumper."
I say, I say, I say...
"Have you heard about the magic tractor? It went down the lane and turned into a field!"
sent in by NancyJ
I say, I say, I say...
"A bear walks into a pub and says " A pint of lager and a ........................... packet of crisps please" The bartender replies "Why the big pause?" The bear answers, I don't know, I have always had them!"
sent in by JessicaW
I say, I say, I say...
"Man: “Doctor I feel like a supermarket" Doctor: “How long have you felt like this?” Man: “Ever since I was Lidl.”"
sent in by AdrianMc
I say, I say, I say...
"What happened when a hyena ate an oxo cube? It made a laughing stock of itself!"
sent in by EileenF
I say, I say, I say...
"My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk."
sent in by AdrianMc
I say, I say, I say...
"I’ve just decided to sell our hoover. It was just collecting dust."
sent in by Kettlewell Hostel
I say, I say, I say...
"What do chickens dream of? The day they can cross the road without their motives being questioned!"
sent in by JennyD
I say, I say, I say...
"My friend asked me to round up his 37 sheep. I said 40. "
I say, I say, I say...
"What did the right eye say to the left eye? Something between us smells!"
sent in by JohnH
I say, I say, I say...
"Where do sheep go on holiday? Baa-bados!"
I say, I say, I say...
"Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”"
sent in by AdrianMc
I say, I say, I say...
"What’s the difference between a teacher and train? One says spit it out, the other chew chew."
sent in by NathanJ
I say, I say, I say...
"What’s a sheep’s favourite cereal crop? Baa-ley!"
I say, I say, I say...
"How does the ocean say hello to the sea? It waves!"
sent in by AndreaC
I say, I say, I say...
"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay they’d be called bagels."
Kettlewell Scarecrow Festival
I say, I say, I say...
"Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field."
sent in by CarolineJ
I say, I say, I say...
"What’s brown and runs round a fence? A field!"
sent in by LizH
I say, I say, I say...
"A man walks into a Bar. OUCH."
sent in by KateB
I say, I say, I say...
"What time is it when there's a pork pie on the clock? Summat to ate."
sent in by Bells&Bikes
I say, I say, I say...
"Where do sheep keep their money? Baa-clays Bank!"
I say, I say, I say...
"Did you know that 97% of the world is stupid? Luckily I’m in the other 5%."
sent in by AdrianMc
I say, I say, I say...
"What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud!"
I say, I say, I say...
"I have a joinery joke about drilling holes. It's very Boring though…"
sent in by RobL
I say, I say, I say...
"Why is the sand wet? Because the seaweed…"
sent in by AllyK
We promised you groantastic and hilarious, and we meant it. This is just a taster of what you’ll find if you head across to where our joke book is published on Issuu (opens in another tab)
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